You a former self sit across the table I could give you so much advice now Each piece contributing to how to live a happy life A road to follow less so many twists and turns Humps and hollows A simpler way to live being kind to yourself all times To take life easy resisting the urge to burn the candle both ends The flame still exists less hot yet enough to feel the warmth inside To love oneself and surround yourself with others you love too Choosing a partner to share the good times and the bad Know your health really is your wealth and life is there to be enjoyed Strive to be the best human being you can be realizing your potential Overcoming any obstacles which may be put in your way
Sting like a bee Originally know as Cassius Clay Now known by all as Muhammad Ali A man from Louisville Kentucky Nothing in common with chicken More used to giving his opponents a lickin’! An Olympic champion at the age of eighteen A right hook so dangerous stepping into the ring could result in the loss of a spleen Heavyweight champion of the world in 1964 A refusal to go to war in Vietnam causing a national uproar A voice for civil liberties and human rights Becoming more influential than any number of fights On three occasions going toe to toe with Joe Frazier Can be described as a real force of nature Foreman took a tumble In the Rumble in the Jungle The only opponent unable to defeat Parkinson’s which knocked you off your feet Commonly known by most as The Greatest A fighter, a wordsmith and an activist for equality You have left behind you a legacy of goodness and quality
I wake before the sun. The warmth of the covers leave my body and I walk into the cold and the dark. My hands wrap around my mug and it fills with hot coffee. If I had woken when I had planned, the steam would be rising from the cup, But it’s not. For a moment, it’s just me in the silence and the cold and the dark- reminding myself that it’s almost morning.
Then, I hear my son’s feet touch the wooden floor three rooms down. He loves the morning in a way I can’t understand. For years, I have tried to wake early enough to get a head start on day Before others are awake and need me. He, in his innocence, has taken this as an invitation to spend quiet moments with me. He lays in his bed, listening for my own feet to touch the ground so he can come and find me.
Some mornings, when I am bold enough to stay asleep longer than usual, I wake to the sound of gentle knocking. Then, a small voice breaks through the sound of his tiny fist against the door. “Mom, you slept in on accident.” It’s never an accident.
But in spite of my longing for a quiet That belongs to only me, perhaps these days are the best I’ll ever know. These days are without any moments to wonder whether I am making good use of this very short Window of time I have on this planet. Instead, it is just me and the cold and the dark
And the little man who loves me more Than the warmth of his bed.
He sits at the table beside me now, pulling out the marshmallow bits from the cereal box. I pretend not to notice, gazing to my right Through the wall of windows overlooking Livingston Bay. The sun is rising in the distance- Running toward our sky to join us.
There is no need for you to be engulfed in the dark You have a voice to express how you are feeling Healing Is in your hands an attainable objective Be subjective Take the time to find your way out of the quagmire Tired As you may be summon the energy to get some help You owe it to yourself to look after your health Brighter days lie ahead You can go back to enjoying life Once you find a resolution to the problem inside your head If you are struggling and feeling like you can no longer cope There is always someone there who can provide you with support and hope
Meow you say to let me know you are on your way Movement sleek and elegant Claws retracted reserved for going in for the kill A silent assassin with teeth as sharp as blades Kept in good order For the hunt and the tearing of flesh On the look out for a bird preparing to soar He must come from a good family A turned up nose to a chicken and ham slice Preference is for the taste of mice Purr to express contentment and satisfaction A feline who bides his time before jumping in to action!
Now more than ever have we come to appreciate the importance of our physical and mental well being While we all have been caught up in the proverbial rat race striving for a bigger house a newer car more expensive clothes and a larger bank balance We have come to a shuddering halt No matter how rich or poor the situation remains the same Nobody is immune Maybe once this is all over the value we put on finances will decrease We will remind ourselves money is a man made invention Now is the time to spend as much as we need to help solve this global health and resulting economic crisis Once we come out the other side we can print more Society is coming together to contribute to defeating this virus This is an opportunity for the world to decide in the future are we to consider ourselves as consumers or as human beings
Begs an eggistential question Which came first The chicken or the egg? Egghilarated to have received the first vaccine Those pints of Guinness no longer simply just a pipe dream Eggcited to imagine myself lying next to a pool An umbrella overhanging in order to keep oneself cool Sipping Long Island Ice Teas No eggageration to say I can feel the sea breeze An eggceptional year for everyone There will be an eggtraordinary party when this is all done!!!
In response to Pablo Nerudo’s From the Book of Questions III, in which he asks, “Why do trees conceal the splendor of their roots?”
I know why trees hide the splendor of their roots. They were born in dirt and shit and sand. It was all they had to feed on.
I know why trees don’t walk until all are asleep. They hide their secret under asphalt sky so you cannot see where they splinter and smell and learned to breathe.
I know why priests hold babies under water to wash away blood no baths can take. That blood comes from the place our flesh was born.
So, I understand why I’m quiet and frail when the plane lands down in dust and sun. It returning to the place I cannot hide from. I’m coming home.
A year into my second marriage, I waited in bed for my wife to return from her daily bender. I was 39 years old and miserable. My children were safely tucked in bed in their bedroom and, as I waited to see whether she would be yelling at me again that night, I wondered whether I could handle another forty years of this and, if so, what I would be like after that kind of a stretch. It wasn’t pretty.
For those of you who never married into anger, let me give you a window into what the life is like. Imagine a world where you do all the stuff you are already doing now, but are constantly having to process your tasks through a set of questions, such as “what is her preferred way of this happening?” Or, “If I do this, will the kids be woken up with yelling later?” Or my personal least favorite, “Will this ruin Christmas?” Since the day we had said “I do”, my wife has shifted from a person who sent me love poems to a person who sent me hate mail. Everyone and everything was suspect. She was convinced my friends were lovers. Offers to navigate while she drove were considered an affront on her navigational skills. On and on it went, and every perceived slight led to another round of accusations and yelling. It was a nightmare and I wanted out.
However, this would not be my first failed marriage and I wasn’t even forty years old. This would mean my 4-year-old son would become a child of not one divorce, but two. I’m sure you’re following along here. That figure does not look good. Reflecting on that failure kept me stuck in a miserable pattern. I attended personal and couples counseling trying to save my marriage. Meanwhile, things kept getting much worse. I didn’t want to acknowledge my mistakes and fail my children, but in that moment, reflecting on who I would become if I didn’t leave, I was greeted with a new question. It wasn’t just about what I would become, it was about what my children would become, too.
Looking into the future allowed me to look past my fears in the moment (of failing my marriage, of the inevitable social judgment, of the public embarrassment, of the expense). Taking the long view reminded me what really mattered and that trying to make an insane situation work would be an even greater mistake. I didn’t have the courage to end it that night, but it wasn’t long after that I did.
When people are in crisis, it’s normal to go into a survival state. After the past year, a lot of us are stuck in that right now. Unfortunately, this mind frame often gets in the way of us being able to think reasonably and make sound judgments regarding how to respond. People become focused on the immediate future and immediate needs. As a result, it’s easy to get stuck in a pattern of figuring out how to get through the day rather than sorting out how to build a better life. You are not likely to make your best choices and often, this is when your choices matter most.
If you find yourself in an untenable position and can’t imagine how to get out, take a deep breath. Shift your attention for a moment away from your fear and to what you want. Now ask yourself, what do you need to get there? Write it down and make it happen. Take the long view and you could very well save your life.
Now, almost three years after that difficult night, I can say most certainly admitting my mistakes didn’t hurt as much as staying. My poor son is hard to feel bad for most days. He’s too busy making fart jokes and showing off his new Tae Kwon Do moves.
Sure, when I filed for divorce, the social judgment came. I think we can all agree that was inevitable. Some people wrote me off, but I’m still here and I’m happier than ever. So the jokes on them. Or maybe, the joke is on the woman that I almost was. Doesn’t really matter either way. The important thing is I can laugh again and mean it.
Deborah Horton Writing 