Losing My Motivation

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Over the past month, I seem to have misplaced my motivation. I am usually at least fairly motivated to accomplish most things, but these past few weeks, I find that I am much as this picture suggests, just here. Doing nothing, with nothing to say, and feeling quite like just a lump of unmotivated flesh.

Sure I have ideas about things I could do. They come all the time and I look at them and ponder how I might bring them to life and that’s about where it stops. I just don’t have the motivation or inspiration to proceed further.

I could force myself to do it. I can write anytime, but it would be just words without conviction or passion. I could paint, but it would be perfunctorily done without true art or expression. I could organize my house or do some deep cleaning, but I would rather rest.

Now, it is not as if I do nothing at all. I get up every day and work a 10 to 12 hour day at the business I own and run providing mental health counseling to girls and women five days a week and every other week adding on half days on Saturday. I supervise a therapist who is gaining her hours for licensure every day. I do all the things required to run a business every day. And I am very good at my job.

I have a family with a husband and three sons, adults all, but they still all live in the home with me and I am engaged with each of them on a variety of levels every day during and after my work. I do clean my home and cook meals mostly on weekends as after a 10-12 hour day with mental health I do not have the margin for that every day.

I have friends that I talk to and engage with as often as possible. Less now with Covid but I am still engaged with them as best we can.

I do many other things weekly in conjunction with running and marketing a business. I engage in family activities such as games and movies. So, I am not doing nothing.

However, my creative endeavors have suffered dramatically over the last month perhaps even longer. I have written and published things online but it was without much creativity. I have not painted outside of my therapy practice using art therapy in months. I have not written a single word on the book series I am working on in months.

Even today as I write this there are lots of ideas in my head for things I could write about. How I am hooked into the Netflix series The Last Kingdom and am on my second watch through of the four seasons. How I think Bridgerton could have been written by someone in a coma as it is that predictable and trite. How the NFL offseason is going to be a carousel of quarterback trades and changes. How Tom Brady continues to defy time. And I have all kinds of ideas for painting as well.

But nothing moves me to actual creation of any of this. I feel drained, tired, and dare I say it, lazy. And lazy is not a word I am familiar with. Of all the words I and others would use to describe me, lazy is not one of them.

Perhaps it is winter, but we have barely had any real winter this year in our part of Montana. Perhaps it is the start of a new year and the feeling that time is flying by. Perhaps it is the experience of my 58th birthday. Perhaps it is ongoing Covid and political unrest.

Perhaps it just a season of time where I take a creative rest. I am not sure but I am not enjoying it. Though I do not know how to get out of it and start the flow again. I hope that it does.

I do believe that nothing stays the same and that this too will change…when the universe is ready.

Say The Word

Written By Liam Flanagan

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash


My minds in a mess

Everything is upside down and back to front


Off you go to the Florida keys

Keep hitting those wayward drives off the tees!

Complications with the vaccine


Worried about their exams

Sick of attending the classroom with their video cams

United top of the league!

A season with no fans providing some intrigue

A time in history parallel with no other


Home schooling the kids whilst trying to avoid blowing their lids

Everybody hoping and praying this will be all over

Laughter and smiles are as rare as a four leaved clover!

All Time Great

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Lifting an entire city

his swing a work of art

Hammerin’ Hank

baseball’s beating heart

Home run record broken

before steroids playing it clean

an achievement to cheer

amazing to be seen

Suffering racial injustice

death threats and more

standing tall

for those to come and those before

Civil rights leader

change hoped for and endless work done

a man of peace and power

legendary one

On the field a hero of sports

off the field a hero of hearts

gone now in body

but the spirit never departs

Find Margin

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Pause when options and crises come

take time to evaluate what serves you

immediate response is not necessary

if it is not life or death

Breathe deeply and slowly

gather yourself and your thoughts

breathe through decisions

not made in haste

Ponder the why of your response

does it serve you or is it serving others only

is it necessary or is it because you choose

examine and ask questions

Choose wisely and for yourself

will it provide margin or take it away

what will the choice require of you

are you enabling others or building resilience

Do what you can with margin

responses should not push you over the edge

they should not be assumed or expected

find and protect your margin


By Liam Flanagan

Sanity allows us to stay in touch with reality

Sometimes feeling like we are surfing a wave

Other times just a desire to stay in the cave

Each and everyone of us contemplating our existence 

We have provided so much resistance 

Yet this virus remains unrelenting and persistent 

Our conscience is with the vulnerable and the elderly 


Something has arrived to put their whole lives in jeopardy 

All we can do now is to hope and pray

An effective vaccine will come along to save the day

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